I've been inspired to start a blog. I don't know that anybody will ever see this, let alone care; but at the moment that's okay with me. My friend I showed me her blog and instantly I was blown away- she has the ability to write whatever she pleases and doesn't have to worry about the word vomit that ends up on her pages. I've been drawn to that. So here goes nothing blogger.
First and foremost- To M. Sometimes I think you forget that I am my own person. I breathe my own air, and have my own body. I love you, and listen to you and am inspired by you. However- at times you need to let me think and decide for myself. I know you're involved in my life, and that you care for me deeply, but sometimes you have to let the bird try to fly on it's own. Yes, of course they are going to fall and you can run in to help them get back up but you can't tell it to never fly again so that it doesn't get hurt. Birds fly, that's their nature. I am the parent of a beautiful child- and I love that you are involved in that, but the decisions that I make are mine. You do not get to overstep them, or tell me what decisions to make in the first place. That being said- I love you. You are one of the best people that I know. You are an inspiration, and you have always been there for me. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.
Second- To E. You are the light of my world. To be able to look at you and think- I was the one that held you for nine months in my womb. I was the one who looked at you and bawled the second you were born. I am the one that feeds you every time that you are hungry. I am the one that rocks you to bed at night. I am so thankful for every moment I get to spend with you. I am thankful for each and every moment I have with you. You are so innocent and beautiful. I hope that I will be the best mother I can for you. I'm already trying. You are the definition of purity; you haven't had the chance to experience this world of hurt, and I can only hope that you will be left unshaken as you grow up to the world around you. This place that we live in is hard- it's dark and sorrowful; but in it there is light. You are proof of that. One day you can look back on this blog and see all of the great things in life. I hope as you read this you will know the love I have for you. You are my everything. You are my happy.
Third- To A. It's hard to think about you. I have so many mixed feelings. I want you to be there, and yet I don't. Thank God for M. She is the only reason that I am able to work with you. Hopefully one day things will change, but until then I hope at least we can continue to look at the bigger picture.
Fourth- To I. I am so blown away by you. Thank you for the inspiration- Even if you have no idea that you inspired me.
Good night world- It's late and avast I work in the morning!
Until tomorrow. Farewell.
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